Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Returning from Influence... changed

As I sit here this morning watching the sun rise and the mist evaporate off the fields I can't help but be filled with lingering thoughts.  This weekend was powerful, to say the least!  I've had to take a few days to gather my thoughts and my wits about me.... you see this past weekend I went to the Influence Conference.  It was a weekend of discovery for me.  An emotional weekend.   A time where I met incredible women.  women who influenced me more than they can every know. women who i would dearly like to get to know better.  speakers who provoked deep, soul searching moments (which still continue.) A time where I walked away wrecked yet renewed.  It was a time filled with regret. loss. vulnerability. anticipation. longing. passion. discovery.   Regret.... that i allowed overwhelming fear and anxiety to reduce me to someone i'm not.  Loss... of opportunity to be real, to connect, to reach out to others.  Vulnerable... in discovering that "old demons" had crept back in.  Anticipation... of the days ahead growing closer to the Lord and "returning daily to the cross!" longing... for something that i can't quite put my finger on yet but knowing that God is doing a mighty, mighty work right now!!! Passion... deep and abiding for the man I love and for family (sometimes it takes being away to realize how much you miss them and love them..) Discovering... and knowing... that God has a plan! that it would scare the bejeebas out of me to know it all, but finally, FINALLY being content with that. not a complacent contentment but an all abiding, secure in HIS arms contentment! 

So in the days ahead you will be seeing some changes... what?  I'm not sure.... i just know that the Lord is working on me right now and HE has mighty plans for us.  Yes, I do say us... because I know He is working in our family... on our family.  I can tell you this... its not an easy process. and Satan is working hard as well... he doesn't want to see us submit to the Lord's will.  Will I share all that is going on?  No.... some things are too close to my heart.  Will you still find crafts? and projects? painted furniture? food? the occasional recipe? Most definitely YES!  But that is not all... because there are other things in the works.  ideas ruminating. projects & plans forming. lessons being taught. Exciting days!!  yes the days ahead can be (and will be) frightening but that fear will NO longer control me!!! 

So my hope is that you will embrace the changes with me... because changes there will be most definitely be.   and that you will pray for me... to be true to the changes ahead...  to be open to whatever and where ever the LORD leads... to be fearless in the approaching days.

Thank you...